How to win friends & influence people
Win people over with genuine interest, sincere appreciation, and empathy — not criticism, blame, or argument
- Don’t criticize others, as people don’t think that they are wrong. They may resent you afterwards.
- Never blame someone else!!
- Do not judge others
- People want to be important
- Talk about what he wants and show him how to get it
- If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from his angle as well as from your own
- P.59 How to write a better letter
- P.63 Example dealing with kids
- Weekly review
- Make more friends by becoming interested in others ask to let them tell you about their selves, talk with enthusiasm (answering a phone)
- We are interested in others when they are interested in us
- SMILE!
- Always be happy
- Remember names from others
- Let others talk P.105
- Complaint on your product 1. Listen 2. From his point of view 3. Help him
- Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves
- Talk in terms of the other man’s interests
- Find good things about others and tell them
- Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
- Don’t say that the other is wrong, make it secretly
- Start with I thought otherwise, but I may be wrong. I frequently am. Let’s examine the facts.
- Self-control
- Show respect for the other man’s opinions. Never tell a man he is wrong
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
- Begin in a friendly way
- Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately
- Let the other man do great deal of the talking
- Let the other think that he made the solution
- Let the other fellow feel that the idea is his
- How would I feel, how would I react if I were in his shoes?
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires
- Appeal to the nobler motives
- Dramatize your ideas
- Throw down a challenge
- Begin with a praise and honest appreciation
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
- Let the other man save his face
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
- Use encouragement, make the fault you want to correct seem easy to correct; make the thing you want the other person to do seem easy to do
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest
- Letter: I wonder if you would mind helping me out of a little difficulty
- Letter: I must come to you to help me answer him
- Don’t nag
- Don’t try to make you partner over
- Don’t criticize
- Give honest appreciation
- Pay attention to little things
- Be courteous (polite)